Reasons To Lose Weight: What Are Yours?

Your reasons to lose weight can dramatically affect your chances of accomplishing it.  Find out how to spark a long-lasting motivation that doesn’t rely on the scale, the mirror, or the approval of others!

One of the worst reasons to lose weight

If you’ve read my other articles on this subject, you know that weight loss has always been my thorn in the flesh. In fact, I think my first “diet” started in second grade. All the sudden my parents started noticing I had a little tummy roll that none of the other girls had. And sadly, this was simply not acceptable to them.  Actually, it was horrifying to them. In fact, traumatic enough that even now in my mid-fifties I remember it with a cringe. 

All the sudden, life went from a freezer full of ice cream treats to  a can of “Diet Rite” and an apple. A special treat meant a few vanilla wafers; a far cry from the days of zingers and candy bars. And that was super hard for me because looking forward to food was a main focal point in my family.

My parents’ reasons for me to lose weight

My mom was always “too skinny” growing up, so her parents were always trying to feed her extra calories. Still to this day in her mid-eighties, her doctors want her to gain weight. On the other hand, my dad carried a little extra weight that he was always trying to lose. See, my parents had both been raised that looking overweight was like a social death sentence. Of course not for the health implications, but for the appearance implications.

Both of them clearly thought that looking fat was at the top of the list of reasons to lose weight. Particularly for  a girl/woman. Because how on earth would she ever snag a “successful” man?

The dreaded weigh-ins

I can still remember their hopeful faces each week when I would weigh in. All of our eyes laser focused on that number on the scale. Of course, sometimes I knew it would be bad news and how disappointed they would be.

When it was good news everybody was happy!  (And ironically usually kicked off several days of me sneaking around eating whatever I could get my hands on.)  Obviously it was a traumatic cycle for a little girl. I wish I could go back and hug her!

Please don’t use an ordinary bathroom scale to track your progress

Unfortunately, even as an adult I still had self-imposed traumatic weigh-ins until I got a smart scale. And if you are weighing yourself to gauge your progress, you NEED a smart scale. Otherwise, you’re going to be grieving weight gain at times when you’ve actually lost fat and gained muscle. (Gained muscle makes losing fat easier!) 

On the other hand, you will be celebrating days when you’re not eating enough but the scale shows weight loss. When in reality, your body is eating precious muscle to save fat. (When the body thinks it’s entered a famine, it starts hoarding fat for the future.) 

We need to grow and keep the muscle to burn more fat each day. And we need to eat enough food everyday to keep the body comfortable with burning fat instead of hoarding it.

Identify what’s working and what’s not

So you need to know how you are gaining and losing before things get out of hand. Imagine my shock when I got my first smart scale and realized how really screwed up those childhood weigh ins were. Times we celebrated when we shouldn’t. Times of shame when there shouldn’t have been. I certainly wish I would have had a smart scale back then! I can already picture myself making a game out of gaining muscle.  

The Arboleaf smart scale comes with a free app that records all your metrics every time you weigh. And by the way, I loved my first smart scale but I decided to upgrade to the Arboleaf. (You’ll see why next!)

{Related Post: My Scale Helps Me Lost Fat Not Muscle}

Women Who Fast is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associate Program, which means we receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you.

Finally a way to take and record accurate measurements all by yourself

One relic from my traumatic past is the inability to see any change in my appearance. Even when I’m losing fat and building muscle my eyes still automatically focus on the less attractive spots.  I very rarely notice that anything looks smaller. That’s why it is so important to measure yourself regularly. And that sounds like a great idea, except I don’t contort into the necessary pretzel to take those measurements.  And I’m certainly not interested in having someone help me.

The Arboleaf smart measuring tape  comes with a free app that guides you through the body parts to measure. Just loop the tape around the part you are measuring and insert the end into a slot.  The measurement is then recorded according to the body part directly onto the app. That way your measurements are saved for easy comparison between dates.

Other uses for the smart tape

Plus, the smart measuring tape is incredibly helpful when it comes to ordering clothes online. That way, as your size changes you will know exactly what size to order. And it’s great to have on hand to measure other family members (including pets!)  as well. No more ordering the wrong sizes that have to be returned.

And as a bonus, the Arboleaf smart measuring tape and scale share the same app so  all of your information is together! (This is my favorite part.)

Because they were someone else’s reasons to lose weight…

Okay, back to the story. Both of my parents devoted themselves right up until the time I turned 18 to making sure I understood how crucial it was to LOSE THAT WEIGHT. Very strict diets, incentives, and a generous serving of shame were a major part of my my life. And sadly, that pattern cemented a belief in me that I would never be happy until I was thin. I spent years and years still thinking “as soon as I lose my weight, I will be happy.”

Once I met my husband and got married the discussions with my parents ended.  I decided these “talks” were something I didn’t have to do any more.  But it was always hanging in the air between us if that makes sense. All of the shame was still there but at least I didn’t have to hear it anymore.  I would go to family get-togethers and everyone would play nice. But I was sure they had noticed the extra pounds I had gained. 

…and someone else’s versions of success

There were actually several times as an adult when I  lost significant amounts of weight. My parents were visibly excited and couldn’t stop telling me how “pretty” I looked. Then they would throw in encouragement to “keep going” and “don’t stop now”  There was never a single time in my life when I felt like I had done it. Always trying, never there.  (Looking back I was there many, many times. But I wasn’t ever stick thin with a doctor worried about my weight.)

How the wrong reasons to lose weight can really mess up your life

Okay, so I wish I could tell you that my avoidance and shame were just with my parents, but that’s not the truth. In fact, until I turned about 50 I projected this behavior on everybody outside of my husband, daughter, and the very closest of friends. Because I was still carrying around that little girl idea that my value was based on my weight. Literally, every night I played through in my mind who I was going to see the next day and what I would wear. Sometimes those thoughts led to a phone call or a text saying “I can’t be there tomorrow.” Other times, I got up really, really early to try and do something great with my hair and try on numerous outfits to see what best concealed that tummy roll. It honestly was miserable and I still shudder remembering it all.

During the worst of it, I would completely withdraw from friends and external family and just enjoy not having to worry about it.  Getting together with people was pure exhaustion because I was always trying to compensate for the “elephant in the room” (me).  In fact, I oftentimes canceled scheduled get togethers because I didn’t want them to see that I had gained weight. Other times, I shopped manically to find an outfit that would make me look as good as I could.

I worked very hard to be a great friend, a fun friend, a thoughtful friend, a caring friend, etc. to avoid being rejected. I thought I needed to compensate with that since I was overweight.

My mid-life weight crisis turned into an epiphany

But then after a lot of mid-life counseling and prayer and more prayer, something switched. For the first time, I didn’t feel like I had to apologize anymore for not being perfect. It was freeing! Of course I still occasionally have flashes of it when I get ready to go somewhere. But now, If I’m going? I’m going comfortable.  And no more thinking that I need to lose weight to be be loved. (When you think about it, it doesn’t even make sense. I’ve decided that people who can only love “perfect” people maybe don’t understand love to begin with?)

No more starvation. And no more compensation. I was just going to be me and do me. Buy baggier clothes and enjoy eating whatever I wanted. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? Now all’s I needed to do was figure out how to live this glorious portion of my life without worrying about what I looked like. No more dieting, no more anything I didn’t want.

Resolving things with my parents

In case you’re wondering how things turned out with my parents: Rough at first, much better now. I had a lot of anger at my parents and pitied myself for awhile. But deep down I always knew that while their actions were painful, their intentions were good. They truly believed they were rescuing me from an unhappy life. I’ve made it perfectly clear to them how wrong they were. And no, I didn’t handle those conversations perfectly. But that’s okay, at least I handled them.

Through counseling I realized that their actions very likely came from pain in their pasts too. I’m curious about that, but honestly I don’t waste any more of my time digging in that sandbox. Trust me when I say they fully understand the mistakes they made and have sincerely apologized. I have forgiven them and I’m so grateful we are on good terms now. I honestly don’t care what they think of my appearance anymore and sometimes eat an extra cookie in front of them just for fun. 😉

So what does happily-ever-after look like?

So this should be the happily ever after part, right? And it’s going to be, it really is. But, guess what? Shortly after freeing myself,  I realized there are actually some very good reasons to lose weight.  Reasons that would allow me to have a future of freedom. Reasons to lose weight that have nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. 

Yes, I’m a lifetime dieter yet I was never doing it for my health. Sure, I liked the positive comments from doctors when I had lost weight. But for most of my life the goal was to become a size six until until I was 40 and then I reluctantly adjusted it to size 10. None of my diets were ever based on getting healthier, in fact just the opposite since I was trying to lose weight as quickly as I could.

New reasons to lose weight

I grieved a lot during my counseling about the little girl from way back when who didn’t feel loved and accepted.  Yet, now as an “enlightened” adult, I wasn’t even loving and protecting myself the way I deserved. Actually feeling unconditional love for myself may take awhile. My Aunt Dottie tells me over and over again, to be my own best friend. To encourage myself, back myself and care for myself like I would a beloved child.

My daughter is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I love her unconditionally and I like her because she’s strong, confident and so much fun! I would literally do anything for her and she knows it. In fact, it gets annoying sometimes but that’s how it is. I can’t help it. 

Since she was born I have sacrificed many things big and small to make absolutely sure that she is okay. And I don’t regret any of it. In fact, I would have done a whole lot more if she needed it. And now she’s married to a man I love with the same type of unconditional love I have for her. So I know how to love. I know how to sacrifice. I know how to delay and deny things to make sure someone else is okay. But not so much for myself.

For most of my life I have done a terrible job of taking care of ME. Carrying extra- extra-weight is bad for ME. It doesn’t matter what size I wear or what the person at the pool thinks. What matters is that I get serious about saving ME. Because the years are ticking by and the damage is being done.

How does being overweight hurt our bodies?

Just in case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a doctor or a scientist or anything like that. But I do like to research. Finding solid reasons to lose weight was my number one priority when I took a new look at weight loss.  

Before I start sharing my results I do want to let you know that the “O” word is going to be used. As in obesity. But we will get through it!

According to Penn Medicine, the normal amount of body fat is between 25 and 30% for women. When body fat exceeds 30% in a woman, she is considered obese. While that word scares and even triggers many of us, obesity is unfortunately very common. In fact, according to Trust for America’s Health, the U.S. adult obesity rates topped 42% in 2020.  And incidentally, that number is expected to grow! 

I’ll admit, now that obesity is common, it does make it easier for some of us to find clothes and feel more comfortable with our curves. But unfortunately, none of that makes it easier on the inside of our bodies.

{RELATED POST: How To Prevent Dementia }

Obesity is a sneaky troublemaker

Shockingly, obesity is linked to the leading causes of death worldwide, including diabetes, heart disease, stroke and some cancers. (Frontiers in Psychology, December 2021.) So in short, it’s pretty hard to find a silver lining when it comes to being obese. 

And if that’s not bad enough, accumulating evidence from systematic reviews and meta-analysis suggest the association of overweight and obesity with cognitive decline and increased risk of Alzheimer’s Disease and vascular dementia.  (Pedditizi et al., 2016; Tang et al., 2021) Yikes. The article does go on to say that weight loss can improve cognitive function in adults with obesity, so it’s not too late!

{RELATED POST: Super Fruits: Do They Fight Cancer? }

Do you need more reasons to lose weight?

My research on obesity turned out to be about 50 pages long. I could share a lot more and maybe will in the future. This is in no way intended to scare you. Quite the opposite! For many of us, we still have time to protect ourselves from serious illness. For those of you battling these illness, there appears to be a lot of evidence that losing weight when called for can slow down the progression of disease.

Today, I just want to encourage you to follow the links above to the leading causes of death and make sure you understand what we are flirting around with. Imagine how those conditions would affect your life today if they already aren’t. Also, spend some time thinking about some of the people you know and love who are suffering from these illnesses or have already passed away.  Tragically, we can’t rewind time and change their circumstances. But for many of us, we are still in a position where we can change ours. 

Making changes now could improve our lives indescribably. Not to mention the stress and pain we can save our loved ones from.  Put them towards the top of your list of reasons to lose weight.

YOU Are Worth It!

Are you up for the challenge? Are you willing to try, knowing there will be slips and falls along the way? Will you extend the same love and care for yourself right now that you have for so many others day after day?

This is a big commitment with potentially a life-changing and life-saving payoff. And ironically, the only person who can prevent you from trying and succeeding is YOU.

Intermittent fasting to lose weight

As you likely already painfully know, there are lots of ways to lose weight. All of them work for some, but none of them work for all. Because of the strictness of my past diets, I really struggle to get motivated to restrict my food too much. That’s why intermittent fasting is the perfect solution for me.  

{Related Post: How To Start Intermittent Fasting}

And that’s why I helped create and self-fund a free intermittent fasting app for women called Women Who Fast.  No ads, no pop-ups. Totally free. The timer is easy and you’ll be the first to see articles like these as they are published.

Try the free Women Who Fast app today at the App Store or Google Play

To find out more about intermittent fasting in general, check out the intermittent fasting section on our website. You’ll find all kinds of articles explaining intermittent fasting, how to lose weight with fasting, and how to resist big mess-ups with whatever plan you choose.

Experts agree that intermittent fasting is not for everyone. Please read our Terms of Use.

There will be big mess-ups with any weight loss strategy you choose.  Know that going in. The secret weapon is teaching yourself how to quickly recover from those inevitable mess-ups and start again. If you can teach yourself to start again every time, you will experience the success you’re looking for!